Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.