Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.