Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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