im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
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I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
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It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My vagina is officially offended.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.