I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Im part way to drunk.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad