you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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