So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
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