At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
