so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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