fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize