You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
