i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
