what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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