Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Congratulations! We have a period
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
