when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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