So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
How naked do you want me to be?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
