Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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