Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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