the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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