Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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