she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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