Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize