i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
