like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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