The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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