so let's talk penis.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
