i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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