.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
