Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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