And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
