When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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