What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
