i was born a porn star she said
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
not ubering you a puppy
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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