I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
