Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
