lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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