I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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