if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
