your parents love me but you hate me
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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