that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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