The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
