What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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