Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
