We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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