God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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