Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
