Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize