the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize