Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
