we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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