I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
