Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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