your thong is hanging out like whoa
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
why is half of my head shaved?
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