Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
