am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize