bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
