watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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