I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
