More tranny stories later!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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