god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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