bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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