I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
