eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
