I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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