your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think my moral compass just broke
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