you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
