Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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