Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
