I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
